In the past years, I've wasted so much time doing negative things towards myself and others. I have covered up my feelings so deeply that it's going to take years for me to get actually in touch with all of them. I never wanted to be a "bad" person or to hurt anyone else in any way, but no matter what I say, I just continue to sort of hurt myself and sometimes, also the others. If I had a nickel for every minute I wasted on feeling depressed, confused, sad, bitter, and jealous, no doubt I'd be wealthy today.

When I was little and even up to this time, there wasn't a day that went by where I didn't wish that things were different. I love my parents. I don't think I necessarily want different parents. I just kind of wanted my parents to be different, to have different standards of conduct, and different attitudes. But it never happened. They rarely understood my feelings and my point of view. And because they're my parents, they always have that thought that they know everything about what's going on in my life when the truth is, they don't even know a piece of it. How I wish they'd welcome me to open up and make me feel free to vent about everything and anything even if it talks about crushes, teenage drama and all. Yet instead, they make me feel humiliated. They just never understood.

Earlier, I figured out that I have no choice but to just deal with it. Besides, we couldn't have exactly everything we wish for. I promise that someday, I'll be the kind of parent I never had and it would be my chance to give the kind of attention my children deserves.



I will never ever forget my childhood. I will remember it forever. With all of me, I swear that I'll always be a child at heart...